The lesson at church this past Sunday March 8th was food for my soul. It was chapter 4 from the President Benson Manual -
Finding Joy in Troubled Times. The Tuesday previous, I had just had an ultrasound where she said there was more than the normal amount of water on the kidneys. I looked that up on line to find that it is a marker for downs syndrome. Then the next day, they called to follow up with me about what my OB said, and the mentioned something about the Nuchal fold as well, which I looked up and that is also a marker for Downs. Needless to say, I was feeling a bit troubled in heart and spirit for the next day and said many prayers and had a few good cries. This possibility of our baby having Downs would be new and unknown territory for me.
During the week, I also listened to the song "Master the Tempest is Raging" more than a few times as I drove in the car. The second verse seemed to capture my feelings ~
Master, with anguish of spirit
I bow in my grief today.
The depths of my sad heart are troubled.
Oh, waken and save, I pray!
Torrents of (fear) and of anguish
Sweep o'er my sinking soul,
And I perish! I perish! dear Master.
Oh, hasten and take control!"
And as I listened to the song, I also knew that though I was facing a trial of the unknown future, it would soon pass and soon my heart would have peace. But I could also have peace now, and I prayed for that. As with other trials of the unknown that I've faced in the past, wondering how things will work out and how we'll handle what comes, I knew that things would work out fine. I've known friends with children who have died, and they press on. They still find joy in their life. I can too. I prayed that the peace could come to me now, and it has. As President Benson shared in our Sunday lesson, we can have peace and joy IN our troubled times. If the baby has Downs syndrome or not, we will be fine, he will be fine, we are in God's hands. The deciding factor is our trust in God. Through trust and faith in Christ, I can have peace in my trials ~
Master, the terror is over.
The elements sweetly rest.
Earth's sun in the calm lake is mirrored,
And heaven's within my breast.
Linger, O blessed Redeemer!
Leave me alone no more,
And with joy I shall make the blest harbor
And rest on the blissful shore.
(painting by Stephen Gjertson)
I loved that lesson on Sunday. Many of the German saints during World War II were able to find peace through their faith and trust in God. We can all find peace and joy though Christ, no matter what our circumstances. Listen to the voices in our head and figure out what they are saying - IGNORE those that are telling us lies and giving us fear. Cleave to the voices that give us peace and calm, for those are the voices of angels and of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is Joy, Peace, Love...
