As for today, I was feeling weak for not being able to fast very well. I wanted to start at 4 on Saturday, because Hyrum was getting his patriarchal blessing today and I wanted to have finished a 24 hour fast when we went there, but I ate dinner even though I'd started my fast, then I ate some more, and started my fast around 9 pm, apologizing to the Lord for my inability to resist giving in to food. As we sang the sacrament hymn - As Now We Take The Sacrament, I was really asking for forgiveness and thus the lyrics of that hymn "Forgiveness is a gift from thee..." touched me. I actually felt forgiven. I don't think I really have focused on that before, but once I was relistening to a talk by President Eyring and I was thinking of how to make sacrament meeting more meaningful, so it caught my attention when he said should feel forgiveness when we take the sacrament. "Of all the blessings we can count, the greatest by far is the feeling of forgiveness that comes as we partake of the sacrament." - October 2016 General Conference Gratitude on the Sabbath Day. That stood out to me, and today was the first time I felt it and it was nice. I've focused on repenting, but don't know that I've really focused or paid attention to feeling forgiven before, except when President Eyring said we should in that talk. "Feeling" things has been on my mind for a few months. I don't just want to know God loves me, I want to feel he loves me. Anyway, so that started the meeting great, I felt close to Heavenly Father and was trying to pierce the spirit.
Brother Kevin spoke first - he joked that what he will most remember President Monson because it was under his leadership that the church clarified that drinking cola is not a violation of the word of wisdom. The only reference that I think I found on that was this from the lds newsroom - "the Church revelation spelling out health practices (Doctrine and Covenants 89) does not mention the use of caffeine. The Church’s health guidelines prohibit alcoholic drinks, smoking or chewing of tobacco, and “hot drinks” — taught by Church leaders to refer specifically to tea and coffee."
So that was funny, but then he got serious and said that President Monson was such an example of doing good. Bro. Kevin said that he has a 20/80 theory he tries to live by - he will think and work on his mistakes 20% of the time, and then 80% of the time, he just tries to be good and do good. Focus on doing good, and that will help that 20% of weaknesses be smaller.
Next was a young boy in the ward, Jonas. He gave a brief testimony saying that God answers prayers, even if sometimes it takes weeks, months, days, or centuries. Yes, sometimes it might take centuries! (I think that's for us and MovieMouth!) That made everyone smile. From the mouth of babes...
Brother Dale was next, sharing that they just finished their mission at the prison and so this is the first testimony meeting they've been to for a while. He said the good thing about leaving on a mission, is that when you leave the mission, you leave it! But they served a service mission here at home, so they are still aware of the people in need that are very close by. He said that even though it's been a mild winter, it is very cold. He was working outside yesterday and it was very cold. Many of the men, when they leave the prison, they don't have a coat, but if they don't think to ask for one before they exit the doors, they're out of luck. So people need coats, and if we have some extra, they would like them to take to those in need. He said his wife probably gets tired of it, but every night when they pray, he thanks God for a home over his head and a warm bed.
I was thinking about how I've been struggling with gratitude a bit again. I feel like especially for a month like December where we're supposed to give and think of others, I just see how much we need and had a hard time getting my head out of our own debts and problems. I feel like I'm back in Costa Rica, just murmuring and not being able to see all the blessings I have. Bro Dale's words made me want to do and be better. I do have a home and a warm soft bed. I am blessed.
Brother Ryser shared that he met President Monson several times at the hospital where he worked, when President Monson would come to visit patients. One December, after Nat King Cole and David McCullough were guest artists with the choir for their Christmas performance, President Monson at the end presented them with gifts and spoke a few words. Brother Ryser shared how impressed he was with what President Monson said, and asked him what it is like to visit with such well known celebrities and famous people. President Monson replied that when you get to see and meet these "big important" people face to face, you realize that "they are just ordinary people, like you and me." - Brother Ryser always remembered that - the prophet, saying he was ordinary, and putting himself on the same level at Brother Ryser. The prophet is just an ordinary person, like you and me.
Next Amy Reich. She had recently been sick from food poisoning/allergy. She was so sick the first night she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. She asked for a priesthood blessing and by a miracle felt well enough that she was able to fall asleep that night. So she got better, but she was still sick. She was still sick that night and for the next few days. She wondered why God didn't heal her completely? Then she testified that he doesn't take away our trials, but supports us in our trials. If she had been healed completely, she would have gone on her merry way, not thinking of or needing God's care and help like she would if the discomfort remained. God gives us trials so that we will need Him. And yes, I was thinking of us and Movie Mouth again.
One last one - another sister who recently returned to attending our ward after doing a service mission locally. She said that once she was at the DMV when President Monson came in to renew his driver's licence. It was when he was a counselor in the first presidency, but just a few months before he was called as prophet in Feb 2008. She was funny as she told the story, telling how he sat by her, but she didn't want to be annoying and bug him, so she didn't say anything at first. Then she thought she should talk to him, this was a good blessing/opportunity for her, but she didn't just start talking to him, but tried to be casual about it by kinda bumping his leg, it was funny. Eventually they did talk and she had a good long conversation with him and she said it was so great, they talked about a lot of things! She also said it was funny when he went to get it renewed, he told them "You have to pass me on this eye exam, cause I'm going on a fishing trip in Idaho today and I'm driving!" Lol. She said that after she left, she was just on such a high and felt so happy. I was thinking that I want to serve and love others so that when they leave after talking with me, they are on a high like that. I need to be happy and let the light of Christ shine in me, like President Monson does. He's just an ordinary person, like you and me, and we can be a light to others like he has been. Ask questions, love, serve.
So, I wanted to get up and share my testimony, but the time was over and Bro Kevin got up to conclude the meeting, but what I would have said, and what I will now say here, is that I am so very grateful for President Monson's wonderful Christlike example. I want to be like him. I want to be like him. I want to be grateful, like Brother Dale said, and realize how blessed I am to just have a warm bed and home, not even getting to all the other blessings I have an abundance of! When we went to Costa Rica in 2010, I was struggling to see the blessings in my life. After a conversation where I shared with Corey all my complaints, he said it sounded to him like I just wasn't being grateful. I shook my head and disagreed, thinking that it was not just my perception, things really were pretty lousy. But then the next day, President Monson gave a talk about... Gratitude. "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" Ok ok, fine! I guess if the prophet is going to call me to repentance about it, then maybe I have been acting ungrateful. The story by Gordon Green about the Thanksgiving he remembers was most appropriate. And thus began one of my first personal quests of trying to learn to be more grateful (I still have a long way to go).
I listened to that talk again today and wow, it's just as if not more applicable to our life right now. Especially that Thanksgiving story. Remember and feel grateful
