Sunday, March 29, 2020

Finding Purpose In Your New Place

I loved this "Don't Miss This" message!
Joseph is coming home from his mission today
2:00 There is a Purpose in this place. Find out for yourself - What is my purpose in this place?
This will happen over and over again in your life - so this is a skill that we will use for the rest of our lives - how to find purpose in life when our life changes.
4:15 - We have never had a situation like this before - the quarantine and pandemic. Write down what you are learning at this time. We have weeks right now where we can do some really profound learning.
6:10 - We're not going to say that this is not hard.
6:30 - Who are some people from scripture that had to find purpose in the place they were in?
Where else do we find someone who was trying to find purpose in their place?
Some they thought of: Daniel - Esther - Johosophat - Joseph Smith - David

Some I am thinking of:
Joseph

MOSES - went from pharoh's son to shephard, then is life and purpose is changed again when God appears to him in a burning bush.
8:15 - for 40 years, Moses was living a routine life and he was good at it, he found his rhythm, but it got interrupted. (Can we relate?!)
9:00 Moses 1 and Exodus 3
Moses 1:3- the Lord knows that this is going to be hard... this conversation, what he's going to be invited to do... the Lord knows it's not easy. "Behold, I am the Lord God almighty" The first thing he wants Moses to do is to REMEMBER WHO I AM. God is limitless. He is bigger than a quarantine. He knows what to do. He will help us, he knows how to help us. He can do anything, anytime, anywhere.
10:30 So for us to be tempted to think "This isn't going to work for _______ reason" He will find a way. He is always doing his work. He is almighty.
Exodus 3 - God reminds us a little more of who he is. Remember what I've done in the past in different circumstances. Exodus 6 - Abraham's circumstances were very different from Isaac, Isaac's were very different from Jacob, and "Jacob has a very different story than anyone who's ever lived, bless his heart" (lol) Over and over again, notice how many times "I" shows up as the Lord shows us who he is and what he's done.
11:45 Think of all the things you've seen God do in scriptures, and in your own story.
12:10 - Lord, this isn't even working, and I don't know why you sent me. We see that pattern with Moses. "I got this!" then "Why?" and feeling overwhelmed again. Over and over again.

1) REMEMBER WHO GOD IS. GOD is bigger than this. God is endless, God is almighty. He can't be held in or limited by a quarantine. That's not who he is. What do you need to remind yourself of that?

Not "What do you need God to DO?" "What do you need God to BE?" We need God to be good, to be abundant, to be greater than this pandemic and it's fallout.
14:00 Write that: What do you know about God and what do you need him to be right now?
Behold I am the Lord thy God, Almighty.
Genesis 1:4
Behold you are my son.
I will show you everything

2) REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE. You are my son. God has a great work in store for you.
He has a great work in store for you.
Remember who you are in his eyes.
The standard of truth has been erected and no unhallowed hand will stop the work from progressing. He has a plan for you.

To Moses - all this was made for YOU. All of my energies are focused in and on YOU.
17:10 - "I don't know what we're supposed to do.... none of this is working out..." Elder Brown "I am Jehovah, I know the end from the beginning. You'll be fine. You are at the center of all He is doing."
Ephesians 2:10 - A time of great upheaval for the saint of God - NIV version "For we are God's handywork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Opportunities have been layed out beforehand for you to do.

3) I HAVE A WORK FOR YOU - right now, in this place.
Do you think life has come to a stand still? No, God has work for you to do here.
That's going to require praying, that's going to require reading the scriptures, to discover "Where is your work?"
Avenues may have opened quite a bit. Phone calls, social media, reach people in your wards, minister, neighbors.
Maybe people will reach out to you.
19:30 Our job is to believe he will show us our work in this place


...I'll come finish more notes later, gotta get dinner ready then going to get Joseph!



Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Contribute to the Solution

I listened to this Jody Moore podcast today - shared by a friend on facebook. I really liked it.
Some notes from her webpage, followed by parts of the transcript that I liked in bold (I didn't finish bolding things, will get back to it later):

  • Why whatever you’re feeling right now, whether you’re calm or frantic, is normal and completely fine.
  • How to allow your emotions during this difficult time.
  • Why your brain wants to panic at a time like this and try to find a solution.
  • The difference between allowing emotion and indulging in your negative thoughts.
  • Why we have to be careful about what level of information we are consuming.
  • What you can actually do and control in this situation.
  • How to see where your brain might be making things more dramatic than they need to be, and take a pause to consider what’s important.
___________________________
I want to talk about the coronavirus. I want to offer my thoughts and perspective and give you a reminder of some of the tools that hopefully I’ve taught you here to help you as we go through this challenge as a global community. I was going to record an episode on it and then I decided just last night that as things were sort of escalating over the last few days here, and panic is starting to set in. I wanted to show up for all my members of Be Bold as their coach and coach them through the coronavirus.
What I’m going to share with you today is the first time I’ve ever done this, I’m sharing with you one of the calls that I did in Be Bold, a live call, where I taught and spoke and shared my thoughts and then I took tons of questions. I’m sharing it with you here on the podcast. Normally, these call replays are only available to people within Be Bold, but I feel like we’re going through something here and my dad always used to say, “You’re either a part of the problem or you’re part of the solution.” I do not have any medical training so I can’t be part of the solution in terms of helping people who are sick or trying to find antidotes or any of that. I think the best way that I can contribute is through what I do every day, which is mind management, emotional management.
Certainly, we have a need for that right now. I hope that you find this call valuable. Some of my thoughts, I hope that will be helpful for you and some of them you might not like and you want to reject and that’s fine too. Remember that we all get to choose how we want to think about things, so please don’t think that I’m telling you what you should think. I hope that I didn’t do a lot of that in this call. I’m simply offering you a perspective and again, a reminder of what to do with emotions and how to manage your brain through this time. So, here we go. This is what I called a Popup Call On the Coronavirus:
Hey everybody, happy Friday. How’s it going? Welcome to the surprise. I called it a Popup Call because it just popped up out of nowhere. With all the panic happening around us, all the changes happening as we try to manage the coronavirus, I thought, “We need to hop on and do a call. I’m your life coach.” I want to be available to you guys to help you through challenges and crisis season. I can’t always know when that’s happening for all of you individually, but certainly I know there are some collective concerns and fears and so I just want you guys to know that I am here for you. I want to make myself extra available during this time.
Luckily, we do everything virtually anyway, so we get to continue on with that. If necessary, I’ll keep doing calls like this over the course of the next few weeks here, but I thought we’d at least start with this one. What we’re going to do is I have a few just talking points. I want to share with you my thoughts and sort of give you some things to consider and think about and remind you of some of the tools that you have here, you guys. - Okay. Here’s what I want to speak to first of all.
I want you to know that whatever you’re feeling right now is normal. It’s totally fine. Okay? Maybe you’re feeling peaceful and calm. This is what I noticed. You might be feeling calm and peaceful and thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be panicked like everyone else? Shouldn’t I be worried or stressed?” The answer is no. Not necessarily. If you’re feeling calm and peaceful, totally normal.
On the other hand, if you’re feeling worried and jittery or panicked, again, normal. Okay? I don’t think it’s useful to tell yourself that you should be feeling something different than you are. I think that’s typically where we start repressing emotion. Sometimes people confuse what I’m teaching you here about understanding that your thoughts create your feelings and thoughts are optional and therefore feelings are optional. We confuse that sometimes with telling ourselves that that means we shouldn’t be feeling how we’re feeling, which is not the case at all.
Awareness that you’re creating your emotions with your thinking is not the same as judging and telling yourself that you’re doing it wrong. Okay? Step one is just, I want you guys to know that whatever you’re feeling is okay. I posted a little something on Instagram today about this and go check it out on Instagram, but I basically said it’s normal, just remember what I’ve taught you guys about how to feel your feelings. Okay? Just allow it, relax into it. I want you to think about relaxing your shoulders, relax your face. I was traveling this week, I just got in yesterday. People are a little bit jittery out traveling right now. I noticed myself on the plane. I was sort of tensed and tightened up and I realized like, “Oh, I’m just feeling a little nervous. I’m feeling a little bit jittery.” Let’s just do that. Let’s just feel nervous. What is it?
I realized even my face was tight. I started thinking about relaxing. I relax my shoulders, I relax my hands, I relax my gut, and relax all the muscles in my face and I just take a breath and not like, “Don’t be nervous, don’t be panicked.” Just like, “Okay, just be nervous.” Be a little on edge and relax into it. Okay? There’s a sort of a delicate balance in a situation like this between allowing feelings and also then managing your mind. I’m going to talk to you about that in just a minute, but I want to make sure that you’re allowing emotions, you guys. Okay? It makes sense.
Let’s talk about why it can get so intense. Because I do think that there’s a difference between allowing emotion and indulging and all of the thinking. That, I don’t think is necessary. I don’t think you have to watch your brain run wild with all the panicky thoughts. I don’t personally see an upside to it. Maybe there is one for some of you, you get to answer that question for yourself. But for me, there’s no upside to letting my brain run away.
Here’s what’s happening sort of on the collective whole. Of course, we all have individual things. But on the collective what’s happening is that there’s a lot of unknown. This is very unknown, right? We’ve never been through… Most of us in our lifetime have never been through this experience. The CDC, and all of our government officials, and our church leaders, all the people trying to help guide and direct us, it’s new for all of them too. At least not in this exact way, in this time, right? It’s unknown.
The brain does not like the unknown, right? This is what’s so scary about it is that we don’t know what’s going to happen next week. We don’t know what it’s going to be like in a month. I want you to remember that. This is what I tell myself, “Oh, the reason I’m nervous and jittery is because I don’t know what’s going to happen next.” It’s totally normal and natural for your brain to freak out.
Now, here’s what a lot of people do to try to feel better. The brain says, “Well, we should go figure it out.” Let’s watch the news. Let’s start reading things. Now, I’m not saying not to keep yourself informed on a certain level, but trying to consume as much information as you can to satisfy that part of your brain that doesn’t know that’s panicked, probably isn’t going to help because nobody actually knows, right? Even the people that are trying their best to get us the most current information still don’t know what’s going to happen next week. It’s really not an answerable question. Yes, like I said, inform yourself. Here’s what I did.
I have a good friend whose husband is an ER doctor. I said, “Hey, tell me what I need to know.” Right? I’ve paid attention to what our church leaders have told us and I’ve checked the CDC website. But personally, and I’m not saying it’s wrong to watch the news if you want to, but I don’t like to because it causes my brain to want to run wild. My friend whose husband is an ER doctor says, “Listen, if for the majority of the population, if you get coronavirus, you’re going to have a really bad cold and then your body’s going to fight it and you’re going to be just fine.”
There are high risk populations that it can be more dangerous for, right? The concern is that if we get a whole bunch of people that need to go into the ICU, a whole bunch of high-risk people to get sick at once, our hospitals aren’t really prepared to take on 8,000 people at one time. We really globally need to try to slow this down so that we can attend to and care for the people that are high risk that really will need extra medical attention. Okay? You can find, I’m sure, all kinds of stories that will tell you, “Oh no, it’s much bigger than that,” or whatever. I’m just like, “That makes sense. To me, that goes with the other things that I’ve heard. That’s the story I’m going with.” Right?
Then again, I pay attention to… I’m making decisions about, “Should I be worrying or not? Should we cancel events or not?” Let’s do what feels like us being good citizens globally, doing our part to help slow down the spread of this disease. But if I sit in front of the TV all day, my brain’s going to run wild with panic because remember, the brain does not like a future unknown problem that doesn’t exist yet.
Now, here’s the other thing that you can keep in mind. When your brain starts running wild with what if, what if, what if, what if, then I always try to bring it back to the present because here’s the thing, you guys, our brains are really, really good at problem solving, and strategizing, and handling emotions. We know how to feel emotions that exist in the present moment. Your brain is a master at this. Okay? I know what a problem is. Let’s say there’s a problem of like… let’s make it not even related to coronavirus. Let’s say the problem is that my child has to turn in something at school by tomorrow.
If I know, “Okay, it’s due tomorrow, and this is what has to be turned in and these are the materials we’re going to need and this is the information we need,” even though I may not have any of that stuff ready to go, I can start problem solving and figuring out, “Okay, how am I going to get those materials? How are we going to get this done? How are we going to approach this problem?” The brain can go to work, but a problem that doesn’t even exist yet, the brain can’t go to work on solving because we don’t have enough facts. We don’t even know what the problem is. We don’t even know if the problem’s ever going to occur. That freaks the brain out because it can’t get busy working.
I always can calm myself down by bringing it back to right now. What’s happening right now? You know what’s happening right now? There’s lot of people in the world panicking. But what’s happening that’s within my world of control? What is the problem I need to solve right now? There’s not really one for me right now in this moment. I’m sitting here in my office, my kids are fine, my husband is fine. You know what? I do have people in my family that are high risk, but as of now, they’re all fine. We don’t really have a problem we need to solve right now, brain. We need to just keep going throughout our day. Let’s take it one day at a time, right?
When your brain wants to run away to the future, just bring it back. We just need to figure today and then we’re to figure out tomorrow, right? Because in the moment, even if something terrible happens, even if somebody that I love gets sick or what have you, then we will go to work on solving that problem. But I can’t possibly solve a problem that doesn’t exist. You with me? Remember, there’s future problems, there’s now problems. Now problems you can always handle.
If a problem comes up in the future, it will be problem in that time and therefore you will be able to handle it. One of my go-to thoughts is I tell my brain, “You know what? If and when that happens, then we will handle it then.” But it’s not happening, there’s nothing we can do to prevent it. Worrying does not prevent it, so let’s just stay in the now, right?
Now, that brings me to the third point I want to make, which is to talk about worry for just a moment. Now, like I said, it’s okay to feel worried. I’m not telling you guys that you shouldn’t worry. I don’t want you to push away the emotion that’s going to feel even worse. I just want you to notice it like, “Oh, this is fascinating. You have some worry happening. Let’s relax and allow it.” Again, there’s a difference between being in your body, allowing emotions and being in your head and running wild with thoughts. Okay?
I want you to remember what I’ve taught you about mind management, which is, “No, no, no, no brain. We’re not going to run away to there right now. There’s no purpose of that. There’s no point in getting really imaginative about what could go terribly wrong because none of that’s even real right now. Let’s just settle down. Let’s just get in our body and find that worry. Where does it live? What does it feel like? Come on, worry, let’s do this.” Okay? And you relax into it.
Now, I’m not saying that I think the worry is necessary. Please don’t hear me say that. I don’t think it is. It’s so fascinating to watch kids, right? Some kids I’m sure are nervous and worried and I’m going to talk to you just a minute about how to talk to your kids. I think it’s important we talk to our kids about this, but others are not. I sat my kids down last night and I said, “Hey guys, let’s talk about the coronavirus. I want to make sure that you understand what’s going on and I want to answer questions.” And all four of my kids were like, “Mom, it’s fine. We’re not worried about it.” They didn’t want to talk about it. They just want to play it. They want to go hang out, they want to go do whatever. I’m like, “Okay.” They’re not worried. Especially little ones who don’t understand like my four-year-old. She just run around. She’s not worried.
Now, should she be worried? Here’s what’s interesting, you guys. I posted a picture on my Instagram story earlier this week because I was at Disneyland with my family. Then I post a picture and said something like, “There’s no coronavirus scare happening here.” Somebody DMed me, was really insensitive of me to post that. Then they gave me this long list. They’re like, “I’m just glad that you don’t have a elderly family member who’s at high risk or somebody who’s diabetic who’s worried about insulin or somebody who’s stuck in a foreign country and can’t get home.” They gave me this whole list of things and said, “That was really insensitive of you to post that.” I just replied and said, “Actually, I do have a lot of those things happening in my life. I have a mother who has cancer, I have a brother who’s diabetic, I have a sister in law whose husband works for the State Department in Shanghai.”
I got all that stuff going on, but me worrying doesn’t help any of them. Instead, I choose to support and let them and say, “What can I do for you? What can I do to help you?” I can give them my opinion like, “You should stay home.” They may or may not listen, but that’s it. Me worrying doesn’t help any of them. Again, I like to remind myself there’s zero upside to worrying. I could just choose to think about it the way Taylor is, which is like, “Hey, let’s play.”
Again, not that I’m not being prepared and stock up on a few more groceries than I normally have in case they say, “Please don’t leave your house.” But overall, this is something that we’re all in together. Again, I sort of posted about this on Instagram today, but I feel like while this is going to be tragic and scary, it’s also going to be so good for us because this is a collective problem. People are going to come together and unfortunately it sometimes fires a tragedy to help us do that. But we saw this in 911. People come together. We’re going to see it now because we’re all in this and we’re going to get through this and this is going to be temporary and we’re going to end up on the other side of coronavirus just fine, you guys.
I mean, I’ve already seen people reaching out to help one another out in really amazing ways and even on smaller scale. I heard my neighbor saying, “I know you’re out of town. Do you need me to get you anything at the store or any extra toilet paper or eggs or milk or anything?” I was like, “That’s so nice. People are so nice.” Now, last point I want to give you then I’m going to just take questions is keep in mind that… Again, I kind of mentioned watching the news. Just be careful about how much news you’re going to watch because all the stimulus you take in gives your brain thoughts to think, you guys.
The truth is the newsfeed is going to be filled with coronavirus right now because it’s the hot story and the news wants us to watch. That’s their goal to keep us watching. But there’s also so many amazing things happening in the world right now. There are 360,000 new babies being born every day. Still, right? Amazing. Think about that feeling when you have a new baby and just that overwhelming love and the miracle of that little tiny thing. That is happening every day.
The hotel I was at, I was checking out, I was waiting for my ride and I overheard one of the staff members say to the other one, “Hey, Julia had a baby yesterday.” And she’s like, “Oh, she did? That’s so exciting.” And he’s like, “I know. Yup, they’re both doing well. She’s really cute little baby girl.” My heart just sort of for a minute was like, “Oh yeah, I think that’s still happening. People are having babies and people are falling in love and people are looking out for one another.” I just read a story about a woman who lived a really, really modest life, little small home, not an extravagant life, passed away and left $14 million to charities.
People didn’t even realize that she had that kind of money. She just surprised all these charities with this money that she left. There is amazing good things happening. None of that’s going to make it into the newsfeed because none of that trumps coronavirus. Okay? Just be careful about what kind of stimulus you’re taking in. It’s going to give your brain thoughts to think. Okay. Those are kind of overall my thoughts about coronavirus. Oh, one other thought and then I’m going to go to questions.
In the United States, and I know we have people here from all different countries, but a lot of you, majority of you live in United States. We need to keep in mind that we haven’t been testing for coronavirus until just recently. We’re just now starting to get in enough test kits, test for it, right? You’re going to see the numbers are going up because there have been people with coronavirus walking around who didn’t know they had it because we didn’t have test kits. I’m not saying it that it’s not spreading, it is. But also, I think people are going to get panicky here, right? It’s going to be tempting to think, “Oh no, this is really spreading out of control,” because now we’re going to become more aware of it. They’ve been testing for it in China, they’ve been testing for it in other countries.
We’re going to start testing more means we’re going to find more of it, which is a good thing. We want to find it, so we can contain it and try to get it under control. Okay? I also just read one other story I have to tell you about. Remember when this panic… Some of you are too young to remember this. But I remember being a child when the panic was over HIV/AIDS. Okay? It was a similar feeling except it spread differently. It was a different kind of panic, but there was still a panic over HIV/AIDS. Now, today, we know how to manage HIV/AIDS. It used to just mean that they were for sure going to die, but then we learned how to manage it. There are medications that people take and they can live a very full long life with HIV/AIDS.
I just read a story that they have found a cure for HIV/AIDS. They have now their second person who’s gone, I think they said 30 months or something free. They’re making progress, right? Again, that’s just more good news that isn’t even making it into the news because it’s not quite sensational enough. Okay. I’m going to go ahead and take questions in the Q&A box. “Since I’ve been trying to apply the question, what’s the worst thing about the situation?” That question comes up in the calls quite a bit, but I think it just makes me more scared because no one knows.
“When outcomes are very unpredictable, what are some different thoughts and questions that serve us better?” Okay, listen to me. The worst thing that can happen for any of us ever is a negative feeling. Okay? What if somebody that I love dies? What if my husband dies? What if my child dies? What if my mother dies? What if somebody really close to me that I love dies? The worst part about that is all the negative emotions I would feel. I would feel sad, I would feel angry, I would feel grief, which is a whole bunch of different emotions at once, right?
Now, that would not be fun. That would be heartbreaking. But I know how to feel negative emotion. I’m not afraid of negative emotion, right? The negative emotion we’re feeling right now, is what we call a dirty pain. It’s not useful. It’s not cleansing. Again, not that it’s something you resist or tell yourself is wrong. It’s not even about anything real. It’s just about what could maybe possibly happen. The answer to your question, my friend, “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” Possible more negative emotion. That’s it. Okay?
When we think about it from our perspective, the worst thing that can happen for me, negative emotion. What about for my kids? Negative emotion. What if I die? Then they’ll have to have negative emotion. I’ll be dead. I’ll be peaceful and happy. I don’t know what it will be like exactly, but I believe it will be freeing and amazing. Now, my kids will have negative emotion, but they can do that. We can all do negative emotion. That’s always the worst thing that can happen. That’s how I answered that question in my brain. Then I bring it back to, like I said, what’s happening right now? Because I can’t solve for a future problem that doesn’t even exist, that I don’t have any facts around.
There’s no point in running away with that. What’s happening right now? Do my kids need to go to school or do they need to stay home? Do we need to cancel a trip? Do we need to get a few more groceries than we normally have? What do we need to do now? That’s about it. That’s all we know right now is that we need to be cautious about our travel. We need to wash your hands. We need to get lots of sleep. We need to take care of ourselves and that’s it. That’s the only thing we really need to do right now. Okay? All right. Let’s see. “I’ve been trying to feel my scared feelings instead of resisting them, but it seems to make them worse and make me spiral more. Can this be applied to how you talk about clean pain versus dirty pain?” Okay.
Hopefully, I just talked about that. But listen, my friend, if they’re getting worse, you’re probably up in your head with them. Okay? Again, I’m not talking about spinning on the thinking like, “What if this happens? What if that happens?” All of that panic that’s happening in your head is not what I’m talking about. Relax into the emotions. When they get worse, it’s not because you’re processing them, it’s because you have more thoughts coming. Okay? When you just get in your body, do you know what? Let’s take like anxiety. Some people are feeling anxious. Okay? What does anxiety feel like? It’s a tightness maybe here in your solar plexus, maybe in your stomach, maybe it feels queasy, maybe it feels heavy in chest. For some people, there’s like a lump in your throat, maybe it rises and falls within you sort of fear. It feels like that for me, like an elevator going up and down inside my body. It feels like a combination of sharp and queasy all at once. That’s what it feels like.
But I can do that. I can handle that. It’s not that big. It’s not comfortable. I don’t love it. It’s not my favorite way to feel, but I can do it. Okay? Let’s just relax into it. When you do that, you might have to do it over and over. Now, here’s the interesting thing. As soon as you’re like, “Okay, I’m going to do it so it’ll go away. When’s it going to go away, it’s still there.” Then you’re not actually allowing it. Okay?
I want you to think about like you’re sitting on a park bench and that anxiety or fear wants to sit next to you. Instead of pushing it away, pushing it off the bench, telling it, no, just be like, “Okay, just sit here right by me. Let’s just sit together. Let’s visit a little bit. Let’s be friends. It’s okay.” The other analogy we always use is like holding a door closed, right? If you’re pulling that door closed really tight, try not to let the fear in. That’s different than just opening up and walk into the room where the fear is. I want you to be in there and be with it. Okay? This is such a great opportunity for us to practice feeling that, you guys.
Let’s see. Okay. Says, “My current top layer worry is what I’m going to do education wise with my kids for the next six weeks school is closed. I know nothing about homeschooling and my 13-year-old is not exactly self-motivated.” Okay? But listen. I don’t know what you’re going to do with your kids for the next six weeks. What has the school told you to do today? What advice are they giving you? Because guess who else doesn’t know anything about homeschooling?
Probably 98% of the parents at the school know nothing about homeschooling. And guess how many other 13-year-olds are not self-motivated? Probably 98% of them. When my brain runs away with that kind of a scenario, I like to tell myself, “Well, yeah, of course you’re not good at this. You’re not supposed to be good at this because you’re not a teacher and you’re not a homeschooling mom. You’ve never studied this.” But guess what? There are people whose job it is to help figure out, “How are we going to educate these kids in this area?” I’m going to look to them for advice. I promise you they will have some.
Instead of figuring out the next six weeks, why don’t we just figure out what are we supposed to do today? What are we supposed to do this week? Because they’re going to help you with all of this, right? That gives me so much peace. There are people smarter than me in all of these different areas who are going to help advise us what to do, and we’re going to also use our own best judgment in critical thinking. But you’re perfectly capable of figuring that out, my friend. “How do you keep an abundant mindset when stores are literally scarce in items such as food and medicine?”
Okay. Listen, stores are scarce in items such as food and medicine. Where does that go in the model, my friend? You think it’s a C, I’m telling you it’s a T. Okay? You don’t need the store to be overflowing in food and medicine. You only need what you need right now. Do you have something to eat for lunch and for dinner? Then, you’re good, right? Now, again, I do have a few more groceries in my house than I normally do, but I don’t see any reason to go crazy, right?
Let’s say the CDC says, “Everyone please stay home. Don’t leave your house.” They still know that people need to eat, right? There’s going to be a way for us to get food. I don’t know what that way is going to be because this problem doesn’t even really exist yet. But people still need to eat. Do we want people to die from coronavirus or do we want them to starve to death? Those aren’t going to be our two options, right?
Again, I just remind myself, “Yeah, people are panicked. People don’t understand. Not everybody has the tools we have.” It’s okay. We’re going to have whatever we need and we’re going to be smart. Instead of buying the one bottle of children’s Advil that I normally buy, maybe I’m going to buy two, maybe I’m even going to buy three. But beyond that, we’re going to be okay. This is a temporary situation, right? It’s spring break for us next week, traveling to another state and not sure if I should go now.
Again, the CDC issues us guidelines. I just looked at their website. We have spring break in a few weeks too, and we’re supposed to travel to Hawaii, and so we’re trying to make a decision. According to what we read right now, there’s no reason for us not to go. But also, you get to choose what you feel comfortable with and maybe you want to be prayerful about it if you believe in God and prayer. But don’t tell yourself, “This is so confusing and overwhelming. I don’t what to do.” Just decide, “I’m just going to make a decision and I’m going to own that decision and go with that. I’m going to listen to the advice of people who know more about this than me, which is the CDC.” Go to the CDC website. That’s your best place. That’s the source of information about whether or not you should be traveling.
The CDC website has really specific and simple to follow guidelines that will advise you. Then again, if you just decide, “Well, no, according to CDC website, it’s fine for us to go, but I don’t feel comfortable.” That’s okay too. It’s okay to just decide you don’t want to go because you don’t feel comfortable, right? But make that decision with a little bit of information and then make it internally based on how you feel. I’d like to think of it as like between me and the Lord and a little bit of educating myself, I’ll know what to do. But you ask a dozen people, you’re going to get a dozen different opinions and you’re only going to add to your confusion about what you should do in your life. Okay?
“I’m opening up my brand-new Pilates studio in Utah on March 23rd with the grand opening on March 28th, gyms and rec centers are closing around me left and right. I can’t decide if I should postpone or just go forward as planned. Most of the gyms are closing until March 30th, should I postpone until then?” I don’t know my friend. Again, internally, you have to make the decision. You have enough information. Now, it sounds like you’ve gathered a little bit of information. Now, you go internally and make that decision. For me, internally is like me, maybe my husband, if he’s involved in the decision, it’s between us and the Lord. That’s where the answer lies. I don’t know the answer to that for you, but you do. Just make a decision and own it either way, right?
“I live in the state of Michigan and schools were all abruptly closed yesterday.” Okay, listen to me, my friend. Listen to the way your brain is telling you, “Schools were abruptly closed yesterday.” This is the sensational way that it’s coming out through the news, right? Because it keeps us glued to the TV because our brains panic and then we think we need more information to try to settle it down. I’m not trying to make the news be villains either. That’s their job. They’re doing it the way that they’ve always done it, which is the way that we respond to, it’s what we even think we want.
Anyway, they closed the school yesterday. Instead of all the schools were abruptly closed, how about the schools made the decision to have kids stay home? A precautionary safety measure. Okay. You said, “I’ve been freaking out over how to structure my education for my children while still trying to work on my own personal growth example, continue to work out, lose weight, continue to grow my business. How do I keep my cool and keep my mind from getting extreme while changing my daily life?” Well, you have to stop thinking about things in such a dramatic, sensational way. Some of you guys, some of your brains, are drawn to drama.
Again, I’m not saying that with any judgment at all. I just want you to notice it. I want you to notice how your brain likes the drama. There are some people in my life that I noticed, “Gosh, they really like the drama. They’re always in it. They’re always like…” It’s sort of like our brains want to fondle the drama a little bit. Even though it feels scary and terrifying, there’s something appealing about it. There’s been kind of exciting like a soap opera about it, right? Just notice that that’s what your brain is doing a little bit here is making things so dramatic like, “How am I going to work out and lose weight and grow my business and get my kids educated?”
We don’t really need to freak out like that, right? Everything’s going to be okay. You know what this is? This is it the way I described on Instagram, just a bit of a pause. We’re going to have to take a little bit of a pause, which I think could be really good for us. We’re going to have to slow some things down. We’re not going to be go, go, go, go, go like we’ve been for probably the rest of our lives. I think a little bit of a pause could be really good. I think a little bit more time with our families and figuring out, “How do we keep our kids learning?”
But you know what? Our kids’ education might get slowed down a little bit. They might not learn as much or as quickly as they would if they were still going to school every day. It’s going to be okay. I’m not going able to grow my business as quickly as I would have had none of this happened. Maybe that’s okay, maybe I’m not going to lose weight. Although there’s no reason to eat your way through the coronavirus either. That’s not going to solve anything. All of this panic that your brain has is so not necessary, right? What if this is all good? What if a little bit of a slowdown in our lives is exactly what we need? Okay? I want you to just notice the drama, separate out your circumstances from your thoughts, you guys, just like I’ve taught you.
The circumstance is I have these many children, they’re not going to school right now. What else are the circumstances? What is the school district advising you? What is “required” by the school district or what is recommended by the school district? You don’t have to do certain things and maybe there are other things that the district is asking you to do. Get the facts, put them in your ceiling, then decide how you want to think about all this. When you think, “This is terrible, and this is bad news, and this is overwhelming and I can’t do all this,” you’re just going to spin out in overwhelm. But none of that’s true, right? This is a slowdown. This is a pause. This could be really amazing for us. This could be a great experience for our family. This could be really bonding for us. This could be interesting for me to learn more about what’s going on with my kids and their education. It just could be a great thing in many ways.
Yes, we’re going to have to slow some things down, but it’s okay. You’ll have time to speed up and run again in the not too distant future. “Do you think this hype is something that is made up because of upcoming election?” I don’t know. I don’t really think so, but my father-in-law is kind of a conspiracy theorist. He might agree with you. I don’t spend a lot of time trying to research that because who cares? If it doesn’t really matter, I don’t want to waste my head in that space. “Is this made up because of election, or is this real?” I don’t really think so. I think it’s legit, but I could be wrong. Who knows? I don’t think it’s a useful question to be asking yourself, I guess is my point. “I jump between peace and jittery. I find that jitter comes and I keep trying to tell myself to calm down and don’t let myself just feel the fear and then let it go.”
Yes, that’s very true, my friend. When you don’t allow the nervousness and the jitters, then it gets worse, right? When you say, “No, calm down.” That’s resisting emotion. That’s repressing emotion. You just got to be like, “All right, we’re going to be a little nervous today.” Remember, we’re only nervous and jittery because of sentences in our brain. That’s the truth, you guys. The news gave them to us and our friends give them to us. Then we’re like, “Oh, maybe I should think that. Maybe I should feel nervous.” But it’s okay to feel nervous, right?
“I’m so upset because they canceled my trip to Utah, New Mexico, and Arizona next week because of the coronavirus. My mom just had surgery and won’t be able to see her, my sister, daughter and grandkids.” Okay. But then just be upset. What kind of upset are you? Upset is an emotion, but what else? What are you feeling? Are you disappointed? Are you angry? It’s probably one of those two, it would be my guess. What does that feel like? Let’s see. We’re just going to have to do that now, right? Let’s do some upset. Let’s just relax into it. I’m so sorry that you’re feeling that way, but it’s okay. It’s okay to feel that way. Just allow it and watch it and know that your brain is causing all of it. It’s going to be all right, right?
“I can’t agree with you more that this community can be a source of hope and help for those around them. I’ve already had the opportunity. I’m so grateful I have something to offer.” Awesome, Misty. Thank you for doing that. I mentioned this at the beginning of the call that we are going to be postponing the VIP event probably until like end of summer just to make sure we have lots of time for things to be in the clear. We’re kind of talking to the hotel and trying to negotiate and figure that out. For now, know that we won’t be doing VIP event and we will get the specifics out to you just as soon as we can. Be Bold Masters, we’re probably going to postpone as well.
We will be getting more information to you guys in the next couple of days. We’re trying to talk to hotels and figure all of that out. We’ll get it out to you, just as soon as we have it. We will probably postpone things. Let’s see. “I went to Alt Summit and made some huge plans and good connections a few weeks ago right before coronavirus became heightened in the US. I’ve also created some impossible goals this year with the Be Bold membership.
Since the coronavirus has become heightened, I’ve been freaking out about the timing of the economy and the ability for my business to go forward as planned. How do I think something better so I continue on my business goals?” Okay. Listen, I don’t know what kind of business you have, but people still need the value that we offer in different businesses, right? Again, I don’t know what your business is, but there was somebody earlier who mentioned that she has a Pilate studio. You’ve got to think about like, “Is it safe to have people getting together in a gym setting?” But maybe there’s another way to do it, right? Can you teach Pilates virtually?
Can you say, “Listen, I’m going to get on video and you’re going to be able to do your Pilates from home for the next little while.” I’m just using that as an example, because you didn’t tell me what your business was? But Pilates provides a service to people. It helps them get healthier. It helps them probably feel more calm too, because it’s kind of exercise where you’re working your body, but you’re also your brain and it’s got sort of a meditative state to it and a stretching component.
Pilates is good for our health. We need someone to help us be healthy right now. Is the timing maybe going to have to change? Are your plans going to have to change? Yes. Is your delivery method maybe going to have to change? Possibly. As soon as we start freaking out about the economy and are people going to pay for things and whatever, we’re missing the whole point, right? Are you going to lose some money over this? Probably. I know I am. I’m like, “Yeah, we’re going to lose a lot of money over the VIP event. We’re going to lose some money over postponing Be Bold Masters. We’re going to lose some money. If we cancel our vacation, we’re going to lose some money.”
You know what? Let’s just do that now. Instead of figuring out the problem of, “How do we grow our business and how do we duh, duh, duh?” It’s the problem of, how are we going to deal with coronavirus? But it’s the same work to do on your brain. I can be mad about it and resentful and angry or I can go, “You know what? That’s all right. Yeah. Coronavirus is here. Some people are being impacted physically. Some people are being impacted financially.” I’m all in. This is a challenging time, but I don’t feel like I should be free of impact from it. I don’t feel entitled to not be impacted by it. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m going to be impacted by it and I’m willing and let me step up and do what I can to help in this cause. What can I help do?”
That’s why I did this call. I’m like, “You know what I can help do? Get on a call with my people and help them work through their thoughts and help them find some peace and give them some tools and then they can go help other people.” That’s where I feel like I can make the contribution. But if I’m going to get hung up on like, “Well, I’m going to lose money over this and this isn’t fair and I can’t keep growing my business,” I’m missing the whole point, right? I want to be part of the collective good. This is what my dad always used to say, “You’re either part of the problem or you’re part of the solution.”
I want to be part of the solution and I don’t know anything about medicine. I can’t be part of the solution in that way, but I can be part of the solution in this way. In what way can you be part of the solution? If you have to slow down your business plans a little bit, that’s okay, right? It’s okay. Let’s be all in on being part of the solution. Part of the solution is being willing to slow down and bring peace, and love, and trust to the scenario. Not resentment or fear or anger, right? Except for the emotions that come up. We process them, but certainly the dirty ones as much as possible, we know not necessary.
“We’re in the process of buying a house and cannot get over the fear that this is a horrible time to buy. How do I decipher between not believing that story and not living in denial?” Well, again, you have to separate out the facts from brain drama, my friend. What are the facts? You have the thought, “This is a horrible time to buy.” That is a thought. What are the facts? I don’t know the facts. I haven’t gone and researched them. But talk to your lender. Talk to maybe your agent, gather a little bit of information and get facts and then decide how you want to think.
Don’t just let your brain run wild or talk to like 50 different random people that have their own uneducated opinions. I can’t offer you an opinion because it would be an uneducated opinion. I haven’t researched it. But do a little bit of research. Go to the source as much as possible and then make a decision, right? But here’s the other thing, you guys, you got to put some faith in you. When it comes to finances, my brain’s like, “Oh my gosh, what if the economy collapses? What if we lose everything? What if the business goes bankrupt and we can’t support our family?”
And I’m like, “Well, then I’ll figure out another way. Then we’ll just do it all over again, right?” Whatever you have right now you created and you’ll just create it again but even better because you’ve already done something. You’ve learned some things along the way, now you’ll do something again. Will it be hard? Yeah. Will there be negative emotion? Probably, but I know how to do that. I’m really good at that. Nothing really to worry about here, right? It’s only money, you guys. Money is the simplest thing to solve because money is facts and money is exchange for value and you know how to exchange value because you’ve been doing it. That’s what supported you.
You’ll figure out another way. It might change the way might change, but this is just like a little bit of a storm. We’ve got a weather and then we’ll have enough information to know what to do moving forward. We don’t have any of that yet. We don’t even know what’s going to happen. We don’t know how. We don’t know what the effects are going to be, so let’s just take it one day at a time. This looks like a part of a message that might have got cut off, so let’s see if I can figure out what you’re saying here.
“I was supposed to see him next week, but I’m afraid we are going to be confined. I’m not leaving the US, I promise. Since I don’t see him a lot, I have this thought that this is a sign this relationship is not going to happen ever. He doesn’t have time. He’s not making things happen. This virus is the sign I need to stop trying. How do I feel? Discouraged and sad.” Okay. Know that that’s all a story you’re choosing that this virus is a sign that your relationship isn’t meant to be. If you like that story and it serves you, go with it. But if you don’t, it’s just a story you made up. It’s not a fact, just the story you’re choosing and you could choose a different story.
Again, for me, where I find the most peace is I’m like, “We’re just going to be on a bit of a pause. We’re going to slow some things down. We’re not going to stop life, right? We’re not all dead yet.” I don’t think most people are going to die from this virus, but some people are, right? Here’s the thing. We’re going to slow our life down a little bit. We’re going to have a change from our normal routine. We’re going to mix it up a little, which I think is so, so good for us. You’re mixing up the way your relationship works right now. Maybe that’s exactly what you need, but you don’t have to make final decisions about this relationship’s never going to happen because of coronavirus, unless that serves you. But it’s totally optional.
“I need some help with news consumption. I live in an area that is hard hit with the coronavirus and checking my phone in the news frequently feels really necessary since there’s been so many disruptions to my and family’s daily lives and I feel like I need keep up so I know what’s going on. Yesterday, for example, I knew that my schools were closing soon, so I wanted to stay close to my phone so I could find out when and for how long. But when I’m on my phone a lot, it’s really easy for my brain to run wild.” Yeah, but listen, you know who you needed to pay attention to? A message from your school. That’s it.
You don’t need to be on all the news media sites. You don’t need to be monitoring the news all day long. How does your school communicate with you? Do they send an email? Do they make a phone call, a mass call? That’s what our school does. They’ll send an email, they’ll post updates on their website and they will sometimes even make… we’ll get a phone call and it’s like a recording with a message from the principal or superintendent. That’s all you needed to be listening for, right?
Your brain saying that I have to be checking the news frequently, isn’t true. You need to listen to the school district. That’s who I need to be listening to you, right? The school district, my church leaders. If I have someplace I’m planning on going like a conference I was supposed to be at today, I need to pay attention to the source of that to see if that’s been canceled. My recommendation is that you go as close to the source as possible. The more third hand your information coming in, the more you’re getting it filtered through other people’s thoughts, which may or may not be serving you.
Go to the source as much as possible and just be careful about telling yourself that it’s really important that you check the news all day long, right? Might not be a useful thought for you. “Thanks to the model. I’m listening to you in Brook, I’m not freaking out. To me, it’s just a really bad case of the flu and it also might help that I live in the middle of nowhere and the closest case to us is three hours away.” Yeah. Some of you have a lot more happening around you than others.
By the way, friend, I’m so glad to hear that you’re using the model and that it’s helping you. Thanks for sharing that. Remember though, you guys, I sort of agree with that. I feel like the flu is certainly the same in that anyone in these high-risk groups is more susceptible to death from the flu, right? There’s a good chance like an elderly or someone with a compromised immune system can die from the flu. It’s just that we have vaccinations for the flu, so people get flu shots every year. A lot of people have been vaccinated, so it prevents it from spreading quite so quickly, whereas we don’t have vaccines for this. Nobody is vaccinated.
Again, the panic has to do with the number of people that could get sick at once and our hospitals being able to take them in. Now, not to say that isn’t tragic and sad if somebody with a compromised immune system dies from it. Totally, we would want to be sad, we would want to grieve that. But for the majority of the individuals that could possibly get, I should say, infected with the coronavirus, it will be a cold that will work through your system and then you will move on and be fine. Okay.
Let’s see. “I love your insight. We can prepare though. One thing that bothers me is my 86-year-old mother couldn’t care less when I told her she should stay home because she could die from this if she’s exposed.” She said, “I’ve been meaning to die for a while.” Okay. Why does that bother you though? Because I’ll tell you, my mother feels the same way. I mean, she’s sick, she has cancer that’s in remission, but it will come back at some point and she’s like, “If I die from this, that’s okay. I want to live my life while I’m alive.”
My thought is, “I get that. I understand that.” You don’t want my mother to die anytime soon. I hope that doesn’t happen. I would be super sad and I would grieve if that happened, but I’m not mad that she feels that way. She’s a little bit older. She’s not quite as old as your mother. My mother is in her 70s but she’s like, “If I die, I’m okay with that. I don’t want to sit home. I want to live my life.” She’s like, “I want to make sure that I’m not putting other people at harm. So if me going out and doing whatever I’m doing is going to put other people at risk, then I think that’s irresponsibility of me and I will stay home, but I’m okay with dying. Why are you mad about that? Why does that bother you?”
What if it’s okay for your mother to feel that way? It makes sense to me that she might feel that way, right? Just think through the only reason you’re mad isn’t because your mother said that, or because your mother thinks or feels this way, because you think she shouldn’t. We just want to kind of question that if you don’t want to be feeling mad, right? Let’s see. Okay. This is a continuation of a question. I hit Enter to see and I want to ask, “How can I balance things out? I like to stay informed, but I don’t want to be overly consuming the news. I’m stuck at home, so consuming news also seems like a way to fill the time.” Yeah. You guys be careful. Some of you are buffering with watching the news.
If you’re okay with that and you can manage your brain around it, then great. Do it. I know I can’t. I can’t watch the news all day. Then I have to do so much work on my brain. I ask myself, “Okay, what do I need to be informed about today?” I need to see what the school district is saying. I might want to check the CDC website and get some updates and I’d like to stay informed with what my church is advising. That’s about it for me. No, I’m not telling you that’s what you should do. That’s just what I choose to do. Okay?
If you’re a person who likes to watch the news and wants to watch the news but you notice that you have a tendency to overly consume it and it causes a problem for you, then I recommend you treat it like any other buffer, which is you plan in advance how much news you’re going to watch and when. You don’t go to it as a buffer. This might be true with social media too, because social media is going to start blowing up with all this stuff. It might be like, “I watch the news for one hour a day.” It’s the five o’clock news on Channel 4 or whatever. Whatever it’s going to be, you pick the new source, you pick the time, you pick the amount of time. I promise you, if you watch 30 minutes of news a day, you’re going to know everything you really need to know, right? Maybe that’s too much for some of you. I personally don’t even do that much.
But if you like the news, you want to watch the news, give yourself a set place, and time, and program that you feel and is going to give you the most reliable, least sensational information, and then constrain yourself to that. Okay? Let’s take Hagrid’s advice. What’s coming, will come and we’ll meet it when it does. That’s right. “Thank you so much for doing this. I really needed this today. I’m so thankful for you in this work.” Likewise, friend. Thanks for being here, you guys and for your questions.
“Since it’s been so good for my testimony, we literally have a doctor as our profit. We’re in the last days and there’s always good in this world.” It’s true. “I loved your Instagram post. The media is only showing negative and so many people panicking. It was very calming and reassuring to actually see people going about their lives happily. I’m glad you got to go to Disneyland before it closed.” Thanks, Paige. “I feel I’m doing okay. Keeping at it now and not to panic perspective. My husband, however, tends to worry a bit more on things. Usually, he finds my comments focusing on what I can control, reassuring to his worries. But this, time he’s more anxious. I try to find his worries amusing.
But last night, when I giggled at his voice stories, he thought I was being insensitive. Any tips on how to help those around us who are more worried?” Yeah, this is a good question. Like I mentioned, I wanted to speak to talking to your kids about this too, so let me speak to both of these. We have to allow other people their experiences too, allow them to have their own emotions. If your husband wants help being less worried and he wants help being calm, then you can offer him your thoughts. But if he doesn’t, that might backfire on us, right? That might backfire on you where he might think, like you said, that you’re… We all know how that feels. There are times when I just want to be annoyed or something, and somebody’s trying to talk me out of it and I’m even more annoyed now, right?
Just be careful about trying to change the feelings of the people around you so that you can feel better. You have to not be anxious about your husband’s anxiety. You have to not be… which sounds like you are doing a good job of being calm about it, but you have to keep doing that work on yourself. Okay? We don’t need to solve for husband’s anxiety. We can be compassionate. We can say, “I’m so sorry that you’re feeling that way. I’m not anxious about it. If you want to know why, let me know.”
But if he doesn’t, it’s okay for him, right? “I’m so sorry you feel that way. It’s okay to feel that way. I get it.” I get anxious about other things. We can certainly understand anxiety, right? We can certainly understand nervousness, so it’s okay. We don’t want to try to talk them out of it if they don’t want to. Same with your kids. Again, go to your school’s website. Our school district posted a list of like, “Here’s some suggestions on how to talk to your kids about coronavirus.” I read through it and it was helpful and I was like, “This is how we should be talking to everybody about coronavirus.”
What they said was like, “This is a disease that is spreading, that is panicking people because it’s unknown, but majority of the people who get it will be fine.” I think our kids are hearing the message, “You get coronavirus and you die.” That’s pain. It’s nerve wracking to a kid, right? But the truth is that most people won’t die from it. It’s just like having a bad cold or maybe a little bit of the flu, a fever, and a cough, and cold symptoms. We need to wash our hands a lot and we need to try and get enough sleep. That’s it. We’re going to be fine, right? That’s basically what the website said.
Now, I would add to it that you ask your kids how they’re feeling and that if they say, “I feel really nervous.” You teach them, “Yeah, it’s okay to be nervous. Where does nervous feel like in your body? Does your tummy feel funny? Does your chest feel heavy? It’s okay to be nervous.” Also, I’m not nervous about it. If you want to know why, let me know. But it’s okay to get nervous. A lot of people feel nervous and it’s totally okay. It’s an opportunity to help your kids understand how to feel emotion. Again with your spouse, he may or may not want help processing emotion, so I wouldn’t offer that unless he says, “I kind of want to learn how to do that.”
But the key with an adult who maybe isn’t asking for your opinion or advice or is open to it as a child would be is just to love them, right? We want to love your husband. He feels panicked, poor guy. That’s not very fun. Maybe amusing isn’t the right thing to go to. Maybe it’s compassion. “I’m so sorry you feel that way, hun. I love you. Listen, we’re going to be fine. We got us. That’s all we need. You and me baby? We got this and I’m not worried about this. I think it’s going to be okay in the end.” You got to play with who you want to be in this situation.
“I think it’s important we learn from other communities that have been hit hard not to panic, but to be prepared, and smart, and be responsible citizens. Do you agree?” I don’t know. Again, I can’t say like, “Yes, we should all be doing that.” Or, “No, we shouldn’t be doing that.” I think it’s based on individuals. I trust that our community leaders are learning from other communities and they’re going to inform us. But other people may say, “No, I don’t trust them. I don’t think they’re paying attention. I think I should.”
It’s totally up to you. For me, I choose to listen to my local leaders and whoever else I’m impacted by. Some of it’s going to be maybe federal leaders. I trust that they’re going to learn from others. But if you don’t trust that and you want to go learn it, by all means do it. I just don’t think it’s a one size fits all. I think you have to assess what helps you emotionally and helps you feel like you’re educating yourself as much as you want to be. Christine says she loves the way I think. Thanks, Christine.
“I’ve lost $60,000 in my 401(k). I believe the market will continue to go down and I think I should move my investments. I talked to my financial advisor and he said to write it out.” He said, “No one knows how to advise anyone because the markets are not responding normally.” “I’m trying to be wise and learn what to do to not lose my retirement and probably retiring early this year due to health issues. I keep directing my mind today, but I also keep feeling the need to figure out how to reduce my risk.” Okay. But again, this is your brain trying to solve for a future problem that is unknown. That’s what our brains don’t like.
We don’t know what’s going to happen to the market two, three months from now. We know that the market is crazy right now, but your financial advisor doesn’t know either. But all of these financial folks, their job is to look at the market and make the best possible predictions about the market. They really don’t know and neither do we. What is the decision you need to make this week? You’re going to have to make a decision about either moving your money, taking your investments out, or keeping it in and writing it out. Go internal. Now that you’ve talked to your financial advisor, you’ve consulted with a financial advisor, now it’s between you and the Lord.
You’re going to have to go internal to make that decision. Trust yourself, trust that either way it will end up okay. Whether you write it out and then figure that out or you take it out and figure that out, you’ve got you and your amazing brain and you’ll take care of you either way. Okay? So, now what? Our brain’s trying to make decisions from what will be the least disastrous. But what if you made a decision from either way is going to be amazing and I’m going to be just fine.
I’m going to be taken care of financially either way. Now, what do I want to do? Because you will, you’ll figure it out. As time goes by and as the market changes, then you’ll have more information and you’ll make decisions. Make a decision from that place. “Either way, I’m going to be fine. Now what?” Okay. “I run a volleyball club and events for the next three weeks have been canceled. I’m nervous about how this will affect our season, not knowing if tournaments will resume after we host a big event and I’m stuck on not knowing if I should buy things for the event with a chance of it being canceled. Financially, I’m feeling stressed.”
Okay, listen my friend. You got to take what you know right now and if whatever decisions you need to make right now, make those or that you want to make right now. This is us with Be Bold Masters. Be Bold Masters is supposed to be starting on May 4th. This is my guess. I mean, you don’t have to tell me that you have information that says I’m wrong. I totally could be wrong. But my guess is that by May 4th, it will be fine for people to travel. But I also think that people aren’t comfortable buying a ticket to a high-end event like Be Bold Masters and knowing they’re going to need to travel and all of that right now.
I’m taking what facts I have, which is that travel within the United States, there are some precautions the CDC is recommending that you consider. But otherwise, it’s okay to travel. But I also know people feel kind of nervous, so I’m like, “Let’s make the decision that will be the least financially impactful to us now.” It is going to impact us financially. We’re going to lose a lot of money.
But again, we can freak out about that or we can go, “That’s okay. It’s just money. We’re going to figure it out. We’ll figure out how to recover from that at some point.” Right now, I don’t know the answers to that. I just know that I will be okay because I have my brain, you guys. I’ll always have my brain. I’ll use my brain to create what I want. I’ll manage my brain. If you choose to manage your brain, I promise you there’s nothing that you can’t do. You can make everything confusing and overwhelming or you can just decide, “This is very simple. We’re going to make what seems like the smart decision and then we’ll do whatever needs to happen after that.” Will we take a hit financially? Yes. Will we have to maybe change our lifestyle? Will we have to cut back? Yeah, maybe.
But what if that’s okay? What if we’re up for all of that? Let’s be all in on the challenge of it, you guys. We got to manage our heads around this. The truth is probably not going to be as doom and gloom as your brain is making it sound. Make the decision that you feel best about, own that decision, and decide to be at peace about it instead of choosing to be stressed and anxious about it. Okay? All of this is going to settle out at some point. We’re going to get to the other side of coronavirus, I promise you. Then we’re going to pick up life and maybe lives can be even better, right? Manage your head, my friend.
“If the prophet is taking this so seriously, shouldn’t we?” Okay, listen to me. What does that even mean? This is your thought, “The prophet is taking this really seriously.” What do you mean by that? Aren’t we taking this seriously? What do you mean by so seriously? If what you’re saying is the prophet is really worried about this, shouldn’t we be worried then I say, “No and no.” But the prophet is following the recommendations of the CDC and trying to be globally responsible because we are a global church. “Should we be globally responsible and follow recommendations of the CDC?” Yes, I do think we should. But I don’t think the prophet is panicked, and I don’t think we need to be panicked, personally. That’s my thought, though. Okay.
“Tips on handling posts from other church members about how this is God cleansing the earth and it’s so exciting to see that the prophet told us to take our vitamins, so disturbed by this.” Okay. Listen, you don’t need to handle anybody’s posts. You don’t need to handle other people’s thoughts or other people’s opinions. Maybe people are just trying to laugh. I saw a post about the prophet telling us to take our vitamins. I don’t know what ones you’re reading, but I saw one that was meant to be a joke. It was kind of funny. I was like, “That’s funny. We can laugh too. We’re allowed to have serious things happening and still have a sense of humor.” But you don’t need to handle anybody other’s posts, just let them. Let them have their thoughts, let them have their opinions, let them have whatever their insights are that they want to have about this. It’s okay, I promise you, right?
If you don’t like it, don’t get onto social media. You’re going to see all kinds of stuff. That would be my advice is you don’t need to handle other church members post. You just need to handle your own brain. We don’t need to judge one another. We don’t need to think people are wrong for freaking out or for drawing these sort of crazy conclusions about what the prophet said and what he meant. We don’t need to judge people. It’s okay. People are doing the best they can. Let’s just love them. Let’s love that they’re thinking about it.
If them thinking about it in that way is comforting to them and increases their testimony, then isn’t that a great thing? Let’s just be happy for them. You don’t need to handle anything, my friend. Just handle your own brain. “I’m having trouble thinking normally and just getting work accomplished. It seems like the world has stopped and I don’t know how to process that and actually keep going especially when church and all the events have been canceled. Looking forward to four months of all being canceled. I heard that you said that needed further tip to get moving.”
Okay, listen, this is just a bit of a slowdown. I was just in Disneyland and you go on some rides, and you go kind of fast, and then you slow down and then you go fast again, and then you slow down. In fact, for those who are members of the church, this is like the way that God recommends we pattern our lives is six days of business and one day of rest, right? We call it the Sabbath Day. It’s a natural necessary way as humans. Slowing down is good. When you tell yourself that everything has stopped, and is so disappointing, and nothing’s happening, and you feel whatever feelings that creates for you resentment, or you’re lacking motivation.
But what if this is just a slow down? Everything hasn’t stopped. The world has not stopped, right? We’re just slowing it all down, which I think is a beautiful amazing thing. Now, as far as getting your work accomplished, again, what are you bringing to the world? Are you stopping everything? Are you going to contribute whatever you can? I want to be part of the solution. I want to contribute whatever I can. So, that’s just me. That’s how I’m thinking about it. You have to decide how you want to think about it.
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So I thought that this podcast was great and that it went really well other talks and messages I've heard over the years, like with Elder Christofferson's talk about Daily Bread, and about Ann Voscamp's "Worry is the facade of taking action, Prayer actually is" and Eckhart Tolle's quote "There are no problems, just situations. Situations to be dealt with." God is in control. The tempest may rage, but God is in the boat with us and he is in control of this earth.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

What Is This Thing Called Death?

I read this article to Corey today - it made us both tear up. President Hinckley was the prophet of our youth.
We imagined that he might have written this poem after his wife Marjorie passed away. Very touching story, and it is wonderful that this song was given to all of us on earth to enjoy! We found this on Called to Share, via Stonecut Wordpress blog.
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We all know how touching stories sometimes get a life of their own. What starts as a nice literary article can sometimes pass off as “real-life” stories. Not this one, though. This is the real thing. The song sung at President Gordon B. Hinckley’s funeral entitled “What Is This Thing That Men Call Death” was indeed a poem written by the prophet. Nobody knows when he wrote it, but when Janice Kapp Perry’s niece was fighting cancer, she asked permission from President Hinckley to print the poem on her funeral program. She received a nice letter from the prophet’s secretary saying she was welcome to do so and he told her he would remember her in his prayers. She then asked her aunt to set the poem to music and when that was done, Janice sent a copy to President Hinckley’s office for approval. He died soon after, but it seemed the poem and the music was not meant to go with him to the next life but to stay here on earth to comfort many more souls. Here are Janice Kapp Perry’s own words about what happened next, which I received from Prime Recordings when I emailed them:

"When I heard President Hinckley had passed away last Sunday night I was feeling a little sad to think I hadn’t received a letter with his official approval. But the very next day after his passing, the hoped-for letter arrived with his approval, his permission for me to publish it in a future volume of my series “Inspirational New Hymns for Choir & Home,” and leaving it to my discretion as to whether to submit it to the Church Music Division. The timing was so unusual and I was extremely grateful to receive the letter as a tender mercy in my life.

"Then on Monday afternoon Craig Jessop, Mormon Tabernacle Choir Director, heard about the hymn and had his office call me to obtain a copy of the hymn for consideration for President Hinckley’s funeral. On Tuesday, while traveling in California, I learned that the hymn would be performed by the Tabernacle Choir at President Hinckley’s funeral on Saturday. Having seen the great comfort this hymn brought to my niece who died just two weeks before President Hinckley passed away, my great desire is for people throughout the world to have a free copy of these magnificent words of President Hinckley to comfort them in times of the loss of loved ones. This is just one more way his influence could be felt down through time."

Such a touching story, and what’s better is that it is true. The poem is incredibly touching because it gives us a glimpse of the tender side of a prophet more known for his peppery sense of humor.


What Is This Thing That Men Call Death?
What is this thing that men call death?
This quiet passing in the night?
‘Tis not the end but genesis
Of better worlds and greater light
O God, touch Thou my aching heart
And calm my troubled, haunting fears
Let hope and faith, transcendent, pure
Give strength and peace beyond my tears.
There is no death, but only change
With recompense for vict’ry won
The gift of Him who loved all men
The Son of God, the Holy One.
The choir singing it at President Hinckley's funeral
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1D1dRZoxg0I

Also a lovely video of Sister Perry sharing other details on the Tabernacle Choir's blog.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

A Message Of Hope From A Living Prophet

I am thankful for a prophet to guide us in these latter days!


Sunday, March 8, 2020

Martin Luther and the Reformation

Corey and some of the kids attended a Catholic mass in Latin last Sunday (March 1st) and it's sent us searching through some of the history of the apostasy. We've got valid doubts about Catholicism. We probably would have been in Luther's camp had we lived in the 1500s. We watched this documentary about him today after church. I love Martin Luther.


We watched this one on Thursday Mar 5th. I love his courage - "Unless you can convince me by scripture or reason, I will not recant."


I wanted to read the 95 Theses. So here are a few different translations that I found, slightly different on the different websites
https://www.luther.de/en/95thesen.html
TableTalk Magazine
Below is the list from Bible Study Tools,
This was my favorite translation of the ones I read and listened to. (And that link has some analysis/commentary that was interesting.)
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October 31, 1571 
Out of love for the truth and the desire to bring it to light, the following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the presidency of the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Master of Arts and of Sacred Theology, and Lecturer in Ordinary on the same at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.

In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
1. Our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, when He said Poenitentiam agite, willed that the whole life of believers should be repentance.

2. This word cannot be understood to mean sacramental penance, i.e., confession and satisfaction, which is administered by the priests.

3. Yet it means not inward repentance only; nay, there is no inward repentance which does not outwardly work divers mortifications of the flesh.

4. The penalty [of sin], therefore, continues so long as hatred of self continues; for this is the true inward repentance, and continues until our entrance into the kingdom of heaven.
5. The pope does not intend to remit, and cannot remit any penalties other than those which he has imposed either by his own authority or by that of the Canons.

6. The pope cannot remit any guilt, except by declaring that it has been remitted by God and by assenting to God's remission; though, to be sure, he may grant remission in cases reserved to his judgment. If his right to grant remission in such cases were despised, the guilt would remain entirely unforgiven.

7. God remits guilt to no one whom He does not, at the same time, humble in all things and bring into subjection to His vicar, the priest.
8. The penitential canons are imposed only on the living, and, according to them, nothing should be imposed on the dying.

9. Therefore the Holy Spirit in the pope is kind to us, because in his decrees he always makes exception of the article of death and of necessity.

10. Ignorant and wicked are the doings of those priests who, in the case of the dying, reserve canonical penances for purgatory.

11. This changing of the canonical penalty to the penalty of purgatory is quite evidently one of the tares that were sown while the bishops slept.

12. In former times the canonical penalties were imposed not after, but before absolution, as tests of true contrition.

13. The dying are freed by death from all penalties; they are already dead to canonical rules, and have a right to be released from them.
14. The imperfect health [of soul], that is to say, the imperfect love, of the dying brings with it, of necessity, great fear; and the smaller the love, the greater is the fear.

15. This fear and horror is sufficient of itself alone (to say nothing of other things) to constitute the penalty of purgatory, since it is very near to the horror of despair.

16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven seem to differ as do despair, almost-despair, and the assurance of safety.

17. With souls in purgatory it seems necessary that horror should grow less and love increase.

18. It seems unproved, either by reason or Scripture, that they are outside the state of merit, that is to say, of increasing love.

19. Again, it seems unproved that they, or at least that all of them, are certain or assured of their own blessedness, though we may be quite certain of it.
20. Therefore by “full remission of all penalties” the pope means not actually “of all,” but only of those imposed by himself.

21. Therefore those preachers of indulgences are in error, who say that by the pope’s indulgences a man is freed from every penalty, and saved;

22. Whereas he remits to souls in purgatory no penalty which, according to the canons, they would have had to pay in this life.

23. If it is at all possible to grant to any one the remission of all penalties whatsoever, it is certain that this remission can be granted only to the most perfect, that is, to the very fewest.

24. It must needs be, therefore, that the greater part of the people are deceived by that indiscriminate and highsounding promise of release from penalty.
25. The power which the pope has, in a general way, over purgatory, is just like the power which any bishop or curate has, in a special way, within his own diocese or parish.

26. The pope does well when he grants remission to souls [in purgatory], not by the power of the keys (which he does not possess), but by way of intercession.
27. They preach man who say that so soon as the penny jingles into the money-box, the soul flies out [of purgatory].

28. It is certain that when the penny jingles into the money-box, gain and avarice can be increased, but the result of the intercession of the Church is in the power of God alone.

29. Who knows whether all the souls in purgatory wish to be bought out of it, as in the legend of Sts. Severinus and Paschal.

30. No one is sure that his own contrition is sincere; much less that he has attained full remission.

31. Rare as is the man that is truly penitent, so rare is also the man who truly buys indulgences, i.e., such men are most rare.
32. They will be condemned eternally, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their salvation because they have letters of pardon.

33. Men must be on their guard against those who say that the pope's pardons are that inestimable gift of God by which man is reconciled to Him;

34. For these "graces of pardon" concern only the penalties of sacramental satisfaction, and these are appointed by man.

35. They preach no Christian doctrine who teach that contrition is not necessary in those who intend to buy souls out of purgatory or to buy confessionalia.
36. Every truly repentant Christian has a right to full remission of penalty and guilt, even without letters of pardon.

37. Every true Christian, whether living or dead, has part in all the blessings of Christ and the Church; and this is granted him by God, even without letters of pardon.

38. Nevertheless, the remission and participation [in the blessings of the Church] which are granted by the pope are in no way to be despised, for they are, as I have said, the declaration of divine remission.
39. It is most difficult, even for the very keenest theologians, at one and the same time to commend to the people the abundance of pardons and [the need of] true contrition.

40. True contrition seeks and loves penalties, but liberal pardons only relax penalties and cause them to be hated, or at least, furnish an occasion [for hating them].

41. Apostolic pardons are to be preached with caution, lest the people may falsely think them preferable to other good works of love.

42. Christians are to be taught that the pope does not intend the buying of pardons to be compared in any way to works of mercy.

43. Christians are to be taught that he who gives to the poor or lends to the needy does a better work than buying pardons;

44. Because love grows by works of love, and man becomes better; but by pardons man does not grow better, only more free from penalty.
45. Christians are to be taught that he who sees a man in need, and passes him by, and gives [his money] for pardons, purchases not the indulgences of the pope, but the indignation of God.

46. Christians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.

47. Christians are to be taught that the buying of pardons is a matter of free will, and not of commandment.

48. Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting pardons, needs, and therefore desires, their devout prayer for him more than the money they bring.

49. Christians are to be taught that the pope's pardons are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of God.

50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the pardon-preachers, he would rather that St. Peter's church should go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of his sheep.

51. Christians are to be taught that it would be the pope's wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many of those from whom certain hawkers of pardons cajole money, even though the church of St. Peter might have to be sold.
52. The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the pope himself, were to stake his soul upon it.

53. They are enemies of Christ and of the pope, who bid the Word of God be altogether silent in some Churches, in order that pardons may be preached in others.

54. Injury is done the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on pardons than on this Word.

55. It must be the intention of the pope that if pardons, which are a very small thing, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.
56. The “treasures of the Church,” out of which the pope grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.

57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.

58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the Saints, for even without the pope, these always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.
59. St. Lawrence said that the treasures of the Church were the Church’s poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.

60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by Christ's merit, are that treasure;

61. For it is clear that for the remission of penalties and of reserved cases, the power of the pope is of itself sufficient.

62. The true treasure of the Church is the Most Holy Gospel of the glory and the grace of God.

63. But this treasure is naturally most odious, for it makes the first to be last.

64. On the other hand, the treasure of indulgences is naturally most acceptable, for it makes the last to be first.

65. Therefore the treasures of the Gospel are nets with which they formerly were wont to fish for men of riches.

66. The treasures of the indulgences are nets with which they now fish for the riches of men.

67. The indulgences which the preachers cry as the “greatest graces” are known to be truly such, in so far as they promote gain.

68. Yet they are in truth the very smallest graces compared with the grace of God and the piety of the Cross.
69. Bishops and curates are bound to admit the commissaries of apostolic pardons, with all reverence.

70. But still more are they bound to strain all their eyes and attend with all their ears, lest these men preach their own dreams instead of the commission of the pope.

71 . He who speaks against the truth of apostolic pardons, let him be anathema and accursed!

72. But he who guards against the lust and license of the pardon-preachers, let him be blessed!

73. The pope justly thunders against those who, by any art, contrive the injury of the traffic in pardons.

74. But much more does he intend to thunder against those who use the pretext of pardons to contrive the injury of holy love and truth.

75. To think the papal pardons so great that they could absolve a man even if he had committed an impossible sin and violated the Mother of God -- this is madness.

76. We say, on the contrary, that the papal pardons are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned.
77. It is said that even St. Peter, if he were now Pope, could not bestow greater graces; this is blasphemy against St. Peter and against the pope.

78. We say, on the contrary, that even the present pope, and any pope at all, has greater graces at his disposal; to wit, the Gospel, powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written in I. Corinthians xii.

79. To say that the cross, emblazoned with the papal arms, which is set up [by the preachers of indulgences], is of equal worth with the Cross of Christ, is blasphemy.

80. The bishops, curates and theologians who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render.
81. This unbridled preaching of pardons makes it no easy matter, even for learned men, to rescue the reverence due to the pope from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the laity.

82. To wit:—“Why does not the pope empty purgatory, for the sake of holy love and of the dire need of the souls that are there, if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a Church? The former reasons would be most just; the latter is most trivial.”

83. Again:—“Why are mortuary and anniversary masses for the dead continued, and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded on their behalf, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?”

84. Again:—“What is this new piety of God and the pope, that for money they allow a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of purgatory the pious soul of a friend of God, and do not rather, because of that pious and beloved soul's own need, free it for pure love's sake?”

85. Again:—“Why are the penitential canons long since in actual fact and through disuse abrogated and dead, now satisfied by the granting of indulgences, as though they were still alive and in force?”

86. Again:—“Why does not the pope, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, build just this one church of St. Peter with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers?”

87. Again:—“What is it that the pope remits, and what participation does he grant to those who, by perfect contrition, have a right to full remission and participation?”

88. Again:—“What greater blessing could come to the Church than if the pope were to do a hundred times a day what he now does once, and bestow on every believer these remissions and participations?”

89. “Since the pope, by his pardons, seeks the salvation of souls rather than money, why does he suspend the indulgences and pardons granted heretofore, since these have equal efficacy?”

90. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the Church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Christians unhappy.

91. If, therefore, pardons were preached according to the spirit and mind of the pope, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.
92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Peace, peace,” and there is no peace!

93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Cross, cross,” and there is no cross!

94. Christians are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, deaths, and hell;

95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven rather through many tribulations, than through the assurance of peace.
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Years ago, I had learned through Relative Finder dot org that he was one of my direct ancestors, and had touted so years ago and believed so for years, but I looked it up again this week, and now it says there is no relations.... so either someone's research cut off our family branch, or we should never have been connected to begin with. So who knows.
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