The Apostles of the Lamb

Today we had a wonderful sacrament meeting. Our neighbors the Ensign's spoke. First Lisa gave a wonderful talk - I wasn't able to take notes because I had two little girls on my lap and Corey was home sick. But I remembered her sharing that she was talking to some youth, family members I think, who were not on the side of the church with regards to recent policy changes. Lisa defended the church so much so that they apologized for making her mad. She said "I'm not mad, I'm terrified!" She is passionate because she is terrified that the adversary is leading away these loving and tender hearts from the truth because of their desire to show tolerance and not offend. They are trying to love the best they know how, but they need to hold to the rod and not leave the church or fight against the Lord's apostles. She then share how she recently learned something new from the story of the tree of life. She used to think the great and spacious building represented the pride of the world. But there is a reoccurring phrase from 1 Nephi 11 that gave more insight as to what the building represents:

34 And after he was slain I saw the multitudes of the earth, that they were gathered together to fight against the apostles of the Lamb; for thus were the twelve called by the angel of the Lord.

35 And the multitude of the earth was gathered together; and I beheld that they were in a large and spacious building, like unto the building which my father saw. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Behold the world and the wisdom thereof; yea, behold the house of Israel hath gathered together to fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

36 And it came to pass that I saw and bear record, that the great and spacious building was the pride of the world; and it fell, and the fall thereof was exceedingly great. And the angel of the Lord spake unto me again, saying: Thus shall be the destruction of all nations, kindreds, tongues, and people, that shall fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb.

The great and spacious building represents those who fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb. And the great fall of the great and spacious building was a representation of the destruction to come upon all nations, tongues, and people that fight against the twelve apostles of the Lamb. Don't fight against his apostles. I guess I was thinking of Mr Snuffer and Mr. Malone again and how they believe Joseph Smith was a prophet, but the heavenly gift has since been lost and we are not led by a living prophet anymore. I don't know if their opinions constitute fighting against the apostles, and I don't follow their blogs now, but do still pray for them to return to full fellowship with the Saints.

BYU Devotionals

Have I ever said how much I love watching the 11 o'clock devotionals? (I love them.) I loved these two devotional talks today - both were awesome and it was the first time I'd heard both of them, which was a treat. Many times the devotionals are repeats of one's I've already heard, so I really enjoyed these. First was:

R.Bruce Money - "The Lord's Country and Kingdom - Your Passport" Read here, watch below.



And right after that was this great talk by David Hart entitled "Be Excellent: Becoming Who You Are in Today's World." Read here.

Screwtape Letter 15

I was talking to one of my wonderful neighbors today about our life as mothers - we talked a little about things we should do to enjoy the present moment (and help our children to do it, too.)

Reminded me of Letter 15 from Screwtape - I got out my old book and re-read it. These are some quotes from it that I love:

• Tortured fear and stupid confidence are both desirable states of mind
• (Speaking of the present moment) ~ in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them. He (God) would therefore have them continually concerned either with eternity, which means being concerned with Him, or with the Present--either meditating on their eternal union with, or separation from, Himself, or else obeying the present voice of conscience, bearing the present cross, receiving the present grace, giving thanks for the present pleasure. 
• It is far better to make them live in the Future, (because) in making them think about it we make them think of unrealities. In a word, the future is, of all things, the thing least like eternity. 
• Nearly all vices are rooted in the future. Gratitude looks to the past and love to the present; fear, avarice, lust, and ambition look ahead.
• To be sure, the Enemy (God) wants ment o think of the Future too--just so much as is necessary for now planning the acts of justice or charity which will probably be their duty tomorrow. 
• He does not want men to give the Future their hearts, to place their treasure in it. We do.
• We want a whole race perpetually in pursuit of the rainbow's end, never honest, nor kind, nor happy now, but always using as mere fuel wherewith to heap the altar of the future every real gift which is offered them in the Present. 

(...so be "here"!)

Stake Women's Conference with Elder Christofferson

We are very blessed to have Elder D. Todd Christofferson and his wife in our stake. We are extra lucky to have them in our ward too and as neighbors on our street. Today he spoke to the women of our stake in a Women's Conference. Here are some notes from his and Sister Christofferson's talks:

Theme: D&C 88:63 - Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me; ask, and ye shall receive; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.

Introduction from Sister Christofferson. He teased her later about her giving all the dry facts. Said that he appreciated all her efforts in largely raising their family as he was often gone. Said that he told her recently, "Dear, I'm here now!" to which she replied "I don't need you now!"

Allegory of the pianos: She went to visit a dear friend (they had written roadshows together) who was a Julliard trained musician in Nashville. The friend had a music room with two grand pianos and an organ. She had recently had her two grand pianos re strung and was anxious to hear how they sounded together. The friend attempted to persuade Kathy to play with her. Kathy declined, citing her lack of piano training (a few years of lessons). But the friend prevailed and Kathy agreed to play some hymns, even if it was just with one hand. Her friend played amazing arrangements and together they made beautiful music. Kathy said it was one of the greatest musical experiences she's ever had - said they could have made a CD out of the music. She then drew a parallel to Christ and the power of his atonement - that whatever meager melody we play, he will make into a beautiful symphony.

Elder Christofferson:
- D&C 88:63 is a warm invitation with no demand.
- To draw near to Christ is to align ourselves to His will and His commandments
- Turn our whole being to Him
- Christ tells us "repent and I'll work with you. I'll walk with you. I'll send my Holy Spirit. If you draw near unto me, I will draw near unto you.
- Learn to seek to pray according to His will
- D&C 46, 3 Nephi 19 "Pray what is given me to pray"
When you are praying for something that is expedient (when the need is substantial):

• pray to give thanks for very specific blessings - this will invite the Spirit to the praer
• have time for an extended prayer (example of a time when he felt this way, spent extended time in prayer - invited the Spirit - was given what to pray for)

atonement - yes forgiveness - AND justification

BUT also sanctification - made pure - ride ourselves of guilt/stain. We CAN be made guiltless an spotless. His grace achieves this. The vehicle is the Holy Ghost. (He will bring grace to us through the Holy Ghost) (See Sheri Dew, Amazed by Grace)

Story of when he was asked to interview a sister who had applied to receive a restoration of blessings. She had previously been excommunicated. He reviewed her file and saw what she had done in her life. He could hardly believe one person could have done so much evil. He even questioned that she should be there to be interviewed. But when he went into the room to meet with her, he could see the purity in her countenance. He knew he was in the presence of one of the most pure people he had ever met. Even since that moment, he has never questioned the far-reaching ability of the atonement. 

D&C 20 - Elder Christofferson's testimony that the atonement is REAL. IT is adequate. It is sufficient. 

HE is real. 

His resurrection is real. 

Apostolic blessing (the spirit came into the meeting, tangible feeling, the chapel was so quiet you could hear a pin drop) Elder Christofferson spoke with such quiet, and calm, and steadiness and power. he gave very specific blessings and promises. Same as a talk at Education week last year by Elder Andersen when he promised that in this time of increased wickedness,, there would be an outpouring of the Spirit to those who were striving to be obedient, and that the outpouring would be directly proportionate to our efforts to obey. 

That our faith will grow in this promise. That our willingness to apply it in our lives with grow. That hope will grow in our hearts that this promise extends to each of us personally. Give us faith to DO what we need to do to grow closer to Christ. That we will know what it is we need to do to draw closer. That we will have answers to our prayers. That we will e guided by the Spirit very often as we do pray. That the spirit will be a source of comfort more that it ever has been. That we will learn to recognize His voice. That it will be easier to receive answers. 

I left the meeting with so much love and gratitude for Elder and Sister Christofferson - for their service, their sacrifice, their example, their friendship. I feel so grateful for the leadership of the prophet and his apostles in this day. 

God Will Bless You

I totally loved the devotional by Dean M. Davies today ~ especially what he said about how God answers our prayers in miraculous ways so that men can't say that we did it on our own but will know that it was the work of God and that we will give the glory to Him. Really gave a lot of insight to questions and thoughts I've been having about prayer. Loved it!

read/print here

Character Development

I have so much I wish I could write. I don't do much these days except nurse Owen and read books or watch tv. We watch PBS Kids and BYUtv during the day. I am loving the BYU devotionals and the BYUtv episodes of Turning Point especially. I have so many thoughts after the devotionals and wish I could write them all down. I'm way behind though and don't have time at the computer much (Owen has been having a rough week - really fussy, possibly colic?) But this past Tuesday I watched the live devotional with BYU President Worthen. He talked about character and becoming. It went along with so many thoughts that Corey has shared with me lately, about how hard work is and how "he wasn't in this for the personal growth." He wanted to have, but God wants him to become, hence all the opportunities afforded him for character development. That's what we're all here for. On Tuesday I also finished reading the book "Preemptive Love" (recommend!)

The author, Jeremy Courtney, seems to have righteous desires and just wants to do some good and help, but wow, even with his heart already in the right place he still had a ton of growing experiences! (...and some of his make ours not seem so bad!) Everyone has trials, and they seem to be perfectly tailored to us. And just when one trial ends, there is another situation ready to take it's place. And that's because that is what we are here on earth for. I also loved these Turning Point episodes that are using cars (Naskarz), construction (Hana Build), ballet, parkour, rowing, etc, as a means to help youth and people BECOME. That is God is doing too - that's what we are here on earth for - to have these experiences that will help mold our character to hopefully become like our Savior and our Father in Heaven.

The Fist of God

An article shared on facebook reminded me of this story that I will quote below. First, my friends comment on the news article from Kate Kelly about how it's okay to leave the LDS faith if it doesn't spark joy ~ As I read it, I found it sad that she wants women "to follow their own hearts, aspirations, and dreams" (Doesn't mention following Jesus) and to "put your faith in yourself and in women" (not in Christ. She doesn't even mention the names Jesus or Christ in her article.)

From my friend's facebook wall ~
"What concerns me about this article has nothing to do with her stance on Mormonism. It's that it feeds our culture's idea that if something isn't constantly bringing you joy, you should discard it. If that were the case I would have scrapped my marriage, my children, my extended family, my job, and my religion long ago. Life isn't about being joyful all of the time. It's about being useful, compassionate and making a difference. And those qualities come from wrestling with difficult things and not bailing at the first sign of distress, regardless of your religious affiliation."

I totally agree with that! We are to see joy, but the greatest joys are found through the greatest trials, as the life of the Master should attest. That truth is very well illustrated by this story that I'm going to type up now, from the book "Journey to the Veil" by John Pontius - page 115 - 119

~~
THE FIST OF GOD

In 1997 I was working on a large wheat ranch in Idaho that my father had recently purchased. I needed a break from college and decided to help on this farm and then return to BYU. We had worked very hard to make this farm work. It consisted of 720 acres of sprinkler-irrigated land. We had installed new irrigation equipment, drilled new wells, replaced and rebuilt most of the original farm equipment, and worked like slaves day and night.

Normally you move the sprinklers every twelve hours. We decided to put a larger nozzle into the sprinklers and move the water every eight hours. This put the same amount of water on the field but let us cover more acreage. It took about three hours to move the pipes each time. We moved them at 6 am, 2 pm, 10 pm and then started over, sleeping between sets.

I promise there is a spiritual message coming....

The effect of this was that we couldn't attend all our church meetings. We were too busy moving water and trying to catch up on sleep. When we realized this, we fasted and prayed, and my father decided to turn off the sprinklers on Sunday. His reasoning was that if we did the Lord's work and kept His Sabbath holy, then He would work whatever miracle it took to make the crops grow.

This is a huge mistake normally. You can lose a million dollar's worth of crops by turning off the sprinklers just one day. Still, that Sunday morning we shut off the water and went to church. our neighbors urgently whispered to us that they had noticed that our water was off when they drove to church. When we told them why, they just shook their heads and walked away.

During this time, the ward was building a new chapel. We had small pieces of time between water sets, and we spent most of them working on the church. We paid a full tithe, fasted often, served and served, and held prayers together at the beginning of each work day before leaving to go home. We were on the most spiritual high I had ever experienced in the "real world" up to then.

The crops prospered. They were lush and full. People stopped, got out of their cars, and took pictures of our fields, because nobody had ever seen such an amazing stand of wheat in that area. Our neighbors incredulously asked us how we had done it.

It had been early fall when we shut off the water. Now the fields were golden, within a few days of being ready to harvest. We estimated we had seventy five bushels of wheat to the acre. The average for that area was fifteen to twenty. We rejoiced and praised God all day long. It was such a wonderful feeling to know that we had been obedient and that the Lord had rewarded that obedience with such an abundant crop, in spite of the apparent stupidity of turning off the water on Sunday.

I was sitting in the cab of a large John Deere combine. I had just repaired and greased it up. It was running with the front beater bar spinning in front of me. It sounded perfect. I was happy as I looked up, and being about twelve feet in the air, I could see all across the valley. At the northwest end, there appeared a small black cloud. I watched as it came our way. I turned off the noisy machine and shouted for my Dad and brother to look.

We stood there and watched as this black cloud approached. It was about a mile across; the rest of the valley was sunny. This little cloud hit the end of our first fields and began to hail. The stones were about one-half inch in size. Our farm was "L"shaped. The cloud went east across our fields, turned abruptly left, and traveled up the other leg of the farm. Just beyond our fields, the cloud broke up and dissipated. No other farmer's fields were affected.

It was the fist of God. In shock, we staggered out into the fields, and every head of wheat was empty. The ground was a golden carpet of ruined grain. There was no way to pick it up off the ground fast enough before it would decay. We were devastated--financially, emotionally, and spiritually. We could not fathom why God would allow such a thing to happen.

I went home. There was nothing else to do. We were bankrupt. I went to bed and prayed and prayed, and I admit, I moaned and complained. It didn't seem fair. It actually wasn't fair.

During the night, I had a vivid dream. It was so real that I could feel the breeze on my face, smell the smells, and hear the world I was viewing. It was as Paul said, "Whether in the body, or out of the body, I cannon tell." It was that real.

I was looking at a large farm. The fields were lush and perfect. The roads were lined with flowering bushes and ornamental trees. It was like a farm planted in the middle of a Disneyland park. I saw a large yellow machine in the distance and walked toward it. They were harvesting the wheat, and the hopper was rapidly filling with a golden stream of grain. The driver was hardly paying attention to the machine; he was singing and dancing on his platform. There was no dust and very little noise. On the ground, there were a half-dozen women and as many men dressed in white. They were laughing and dancing right in front of the machine. Some of them were mere inches from the big threshing wheel.

I began to fear for their lives when I suddenly understood. The machine could not hurt them. It was against he laws of "nature" as they existed in this world. The machine never broke down or needed repairs. It just worked flawlessly.

I began learning things--more like remembering them, as if I had always known this place. Their world existed without opposition. The rains came exactly on time. There were no weeds, no insects, and everything they tried to do was successful. these people had grouped together to own and operate this farm. They were very wealthy because of the abundance of their harvest. They were dancing to praise God and to rejoice in their continual good fortune.

I realized that the beautiful park-like plants and flowers grew there spontaneously, just because the people enjoyed them. In my mind's eye, I saw them moving a house-sized boulder so they could farm there. One man put his hand on the rock, and it slid across the ground with a great noise. He expended no more effort than pushing a child on a toy trike. By divine decree, the stone could not resist him.

I became aware of every other aspect of this world. They could do anything--or nothing. They could not get hungry or could or become sick. If they wanted to sit by a pool and sip syrupy drinks, they could do that forever, If they wanted to build an empire of factories and become obscenely wealthy, they could do that too, and they would succeed--by divine decree, they would succeed. Nothing would oppose them. There were no taxes and no laws except one; they could not harm, injure, cheat, or hurt anyone or anything.

I was thinking this was the celestial kingdom and was beginning to ache to be there. A voice interrupted my thoughts and said, "No, this is the telestial kingdom."

I was flabbergasted, but more information flooded into my mind. These people had lost their ability to sin, to hurt, to injure, or to even disobey the law. They were free to do anything else, but they couldn't disobey. I mean, it was impossible. If they attempted, they would find it impossible, just like the big machine couldn't injure the girls dancing right in front of it. They had lost this part of their agency.

I then realized that these people weren't living as couples. They didn't marry. They had friends and lived with them as they chose, bu they were not able to be sexual, and these associations of friends were both large and small, but they were not intimate.

They could not participate in governing because there was no government. Their leaders weren't even from this world, and their decisions were not subject to disobedience. It was simply impossible. They could not vote. They had vast choices in what they could do, but zero agency to disobey the law. There was no punishment, because there was no ability to disobey. I realized then that this was similar to what Satan had promised to do just before the war in heaven.

I noted that there were no children, anywhere. There was no priesthood, no authority, and nothing that resembled faith, because they could plainly see the miracles of God everyday of their lives.

At this point I was thinking that if this were the telestial kingdom, it wasn't too bad at all; as a matter of fact, it sounded quite wonderful, especially after the catastrophic loss of our farm just hours before. I remember thinking this would be an acceptable outcome for my life--but then something inside me rebelled. "No! I want to make it to the celestial kingdom."

Then the same voice returned to my mind. "In order to enter the celestial kingdom, you must be willing to submit to My will, and to endure whatever experiences you need in order to qualify for that kingdom." I suddenly realized that the loss of our farm was one of those experiences. It wasn't random, and it wasn't a punishment. I couldn't imagine why, but God knew we needed that experience, as unjust and unfair as it seemed at the time; if I wanted the greater reward from life, I needed to stop complaining and murmuring and just submit. Somehow this harsh pathway was the right one, and it led to the celestial kingdom, not just to a nice farm where it never hails or snows.

Shortly after those events, we lost the farm. I helped my father and mother pack up and move to Alaska. I had relocated my family to Rexburg and was working to earn tuition to return to college. My wife and I had almost nothing; it was three years lost. One morning, I awake and "knew" we had to go with Mom and Dad to Alaska. I hated the idea. I had other plans. My wife had a dream that night as well, and she also "knew" we had to go. We both cried as we packed our few belongings and turned north.

Alaska has been a fertile field for me. You have read my blogs about my father being the first Wasilla bishop. He rose to every occasion, activated and baptized hundreds of people, and sealed his own eternal joy.

As for me, moving to Alaska gave me a chance to write, publish a few worthwhile things, raise a family, make too much money, and cleanse my soul. It also was the only path that could have filled my world with the fire-hardened faith that now illuminates my way and has gifted me with such sweet and eternal assurances. I "know" it was where I needed to be. It was harsh, and it was far more challenging that I could have ever imagined, but I thrived.

I marvel that it all began sitting in a threshing machine, watching the fist of God change the direction of my life. Praise the Lord.

~~

My closing thoughts - yes, man is that he might have joy (2 Nephi 2:25) but the greatest joys come by our losing our lives and turning our will over to God, not seeking to save our lives (Matthew 10:39). Let God take control, and if that leads down a long, lonely, bumpy road or up a difficult and steep mountain, we can trust in Him that it will give us the experiences and lessons we need. And, though it might not give sparks of joy in the moment, it will be for our eternal good in the end. We need to trust God and turn our lives over to him, keeping his commandments and seeking go do HIS will, not our own.