Wondrously

So, Corey had an important demo today. He was nervous and worried about it going well and about the project continuing. I have pretty much tried to keep my "worrying about Corey's work" button turned to off for the past few years. Today I tried to keep the worry part out of the equation as I prayed in earnest for his happiness and success in his career and I fasted for him and asked my parents and siblings to keep him in their prayers. The demo was at 4:00. I thought it would help if I went to the temple. I haven't done a endowment session since May the week before Katharine was born. I've been to do initiatories but not a session. But right now with Mel home, I felt I could go, so Ethan and I went to the Jordan River Temple to the 4:00 session. We were asked to be the witness couple which was really cool! (And it never hurts that being the witness couple allows you to stand up and kinda wake up during the session!) so this ended up being one of the best experiences I've ever had at the temple because I stayed awake during almost all of it (had a few fading out moments) and I was thinking about the word "endowment" - I just looked up some of the synonyms and the one I thought of is there - GIFT. More searching - here's an even better description of it: LARGE gift! Legacy! Inheritance! Or some of the nouns there - Power, strength, capacity... It is our gift from God - Our life here on earth helps us learn to be like him. So it was a great session, and afterwards in the celestial room I was looking for a triple combination but only saw the Bible, so I picked it up, opened it randomly and read the book of Joel. It brought me to tears - going back to thinking of Corey, his work, his efforts to provide for our large family (which always feels a bit more heavy at Christmas time with 13 kids to try to get gifts for) and I know Corey worries about not just the day to day expenses but of retirement and the future - and I loved loved Joel, especially chapter 2 - 

21 ¶ Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the Lord will do great things.

22 Be not afraid, ye ^abeasts of the field: for the pastures of the wilderness do spring, for the tree beareth her fruit, the fig tree and the vine do yield their strength.

23 Be glad then, ye children of ^aZion, and rejoice in the Lord your God: for he hath given you the former rain moderately, and he will cause to come down for you the ^brain, the former rain, and the ^clatter rain in the first month.

24 And the floors shall be full of wheat, and the ^afats shall overflow with wine and oil.

25 And I will ^arestore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpiller, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you.

26 And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the Lord your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ^aashamed.

27 And ye shall know that I am in the ^amidst of Israel, and that I am the Lord your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed.

I trust that the Lord will provide for us, and that he will send forth much rain, that he will restore to us the years that the caterpillars ate. And even considering our past lean years of famine, God has dealt WONDROUSLY with us. Fear not! Be glad and rejoice! I know that the Lord will do great things.

Is It the Holy Ghost?

Corey's dad shared this talk with us today over email. I listened to it in the car on my way to Momentum with all my boys in the car (well, except Hyrum on his mission). We all really liked it. 

I directed the discussion on Sunday in our Sunday School class, and for the past 24 hours I've been "worrying" about it - just over thinking it and analyzing in my head peoples comments or lack thereof or their facial expressions and stuff like that, wondering how things I shared might have been interpreted. I never feel fully prepared or organized, but I do try to just go forward with faith. I do my best to show up and open my mouth and strive to pray for the spirit to direct the discussion. Sometimes afterwards I doubt and question what I felt prompted in the moment to say. But according to elder Bednar, if I'm being a good girl and keeping the commandments, I can trust that the Lord will use me and I don't need to worry about it! It is HIS WORK! It's ok, stop worrying about it.

I also loved something a friend Elasha shared over text a few weeks ago (Nov 28 to be exact):

E - You and Corey did such nice jobs on your talks yesterday <3

Me - Thank you! I always wish I'd some things better of a few parts differently but hopefully everyone heard something helpful. 

E - I think the spirit usually conveys the message each person needs to hear, which takes some pressure off. And then who you are and what you believe comes through no matter what you say.

Me - Beautifully said!

E - We were talking at dinner yesterday about being grateful for our trials as well as our blessings. Definitely a good perspective to have. Thank you for bringing that into focus.